Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Ask iAN

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It's hard to say Gail.
Depending on what you mean by lost.  If you break up on good grounds then it is better to have loved and lost them.
If you mean like OJ Simpson's wife losing her life, then it would have been better to have never loved at least him.  I am not a big fan of my wife trying to poison me with arse'neck, nor getting bopped over the head with a ball peen hammer by my husband while watching a soap opera.  I also don't like when a lover leaves a poisonous snake beneath my satin sheets because i wouldn't take him or her to the Loverboy reunion tour at the County Fair.

Breaking up is hard to do and I have lost my fair share of lovers.  The best relationships are when you are not only lovers, but friends, somebody you can teach and learn from at the same time, and vice versa.  I never wanted a dumb girlfriend and i don't need a rocket surgeon either, but I learned so much from truly great women.  I learned about sculpture, Salvador Dali, music i would have never heard, clothing design, animal & plant care, i learned how to handle a hangover like a champ, and how to properly clean a flat, i learned forgiveness and how to be a better kisser and I also learned how to accept change and accept anguish and disappointment better as well. 

To NEVER have Loved for me means to have never learned anything from other people and to have lived a stubborn, secluded, caveman sort of existence.  It's not even just about Lovers, but
Family members, friends, pets, the world at large...we embrace many of these things and many of them die and the loss is astonishing to say the least, but the love i recieved back and the knowledge ordained in my direction to help build me into a better, kinder, and somewhat more insane person...hell, I wouldn't trade that in. 

There are always gonna be bleak and dark arsed days until you give up the ghost and there isn't anything to win, but everything to gain when you truly love something, it's not about ownership like you do with a car or a piece of jewelry or a cellphone...everything is Rent.  So next time you get your heart walked on, dust yourself off and strap on your boots.  Everytime i lost a lover I met a richer person just down the road and around the bend.  I had a few friends kill themselves because their Lover left them and that's ripping yourself off.  These leaving lovers usually ended up with some real frightwigs and my friends that suicided?  I bet you anything would have found a far more loveable good soul...just down the road.  

You gotta stick around
you gotta stay in the film
you gotta dust yourself off
and keep your dignity motor burning.

Cheers Gail * Good health and good love to yer




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