Ask iAN

Online Spiritual Tech Support

The subject matter is not suitable for some children, nor is it intended for adults ages 18 and over.
While visiting 'Ask Ian' we ask participants to please refrain from using discretion, as it will only make matters worse.

Photobucket

 

Because they're selfish bastards (just kidding)

Lots of reasons, ill health, losing everything they have due to a piss poor economy, wife leaves and sometimes it's something as small and insignificant as a broken shoe string after a week of nothing but disappointment after disappointment.

You're probably speaking more along the lines of individuals that seem to have something going for them and you wake up and they are gone from this mortal coil...now that's a little more difficult to ansa

Ta
ke for instance the person you are closest to in your life.
You know almost everything about them
but you don't.
We can never ever ever truly know someone 100%
Everybody has a part inside of them that only they know...that is unto themselves
and it is their own.

So in many cases of suicide a tiny piece of the part you didn't know got the best of the poor soul and they end up making the choice to check out without consultation first. 

Like the Myth of Sisyphus by Camus, sometimes certain people get goddamned tired of doing it all over again only to get the same outcome which is disappointment and let downs.  It's hard to see a bright future when you are Frozen in shit.

I always thought that if you had the balls to off yourself, then one should have the same set of balls to be crazy enough to buy a plane ticket and just fly someplace, anyplace and get out...get a different perspective...change up the perception...but the suicide mind is locked in and it is different than the healthy mind. 

Like when a couple goes to marriage counseling they do so to get a different perspective from the outside.  Two people locked in a tangle cannot always see what is happening inside of the relationship...but the man on the hill (the counselor) has no personal vested interest and can see more clearly what is happening inside of the tangle.  I've tried to help a few friends out with relationship problems and not being biased towards my friend...i've listened to both sides and was far more able to pinpoint the areas of destructive behavior towards one another, far better than the two of them going head to head...

Going back to Sisyphus again...some people just feel flat out tired.
It's not that they don't love those who love them, it's just that they flat out feel they can no longer go on doing the same old same old...and some people are so bent on the idea, that there really is no saving them no matter how hard you try...it's just flat out sad.

Lots of times of course, drugs and alcohol are the demon guide.  This is where perception can truly get altered... What sometimes starts out as a creative thing turns into a monster and emotions get magnified, get so distorted, that a certain paranoia or what could pass as concussed, burrows in and what at the moment feels a certain way, would feel different the next day after detox...living in an alcohol or drug induced state of mind for long peroids can lead to a prolonged state of dementia...and then fucking up more than likely ensues...

The worst is when young people suicide.  They are not educated enough to know the full score.  They haven't had enough time to grow some harder snakeskin...their defence mechanisms are weak and everything is very end of the world, all or nothing and fuck it all type of attitude...they don't know that sometimes you just gotta ride out the storms...they don't know that lots of their problems are very fucking temporary...and some teenagers find some sort of romantic side to the whole suicide idea...everything is so serious...when it really just fucking isn't.  Not to say that their emotions are untrue or unimportant...but you gotta stick around for the WHOLE movie...not just the first half hour so to speak...that is why it's important for parents to listen to their kids like they are people...not children...but as people.

Some people don't have all the facts and jump the gun
some just bloody well want the fuck out at all cost and it almost feels selfish to want to keep somebody who doesn't want to stay
some people are just too fucking High and they fucking goof it and if they were clean wouldn't have made that fatal mistake
there are all sorts of reasons...

I think everyone has a suicidal thought from time to time...it's a mad world brother but you gotta stick around for the whole film to really make that call, in my humble opinion...

When and if you ever have a friend that is feeling fucked out and unsorted, seems the best thing to do is listen and from time to time point out the good things in this person's life, etc.

I had a good friend who was in trouble with smack and having lots of problems in his life.
I wasn't in the same city and i felt fairly helpless...so i called his Mother in Seattle and chose to just flat out tell her of my worry, my concern and that her son was jacked the fuck out on H and she told me to mind my own business.
He then got upset with me and never spoke to me again.
Found out that not long after he died on a bog in a burger king with a needle in his arm.  What a fuckun' waste, mate.

You can't save everybody.

If i had to do it all over again, I'd go down to Seattle and break his fuckun' nose.  Try to talk him into to detoxing at his flat and stay with him as he crawled the bloody walls...but i can't go back in time...didn't have money for travel at the time anyway...so it was in the hands of the Lord...or the devil...and truly..his life was in his own hands...sometimes you gotta tell people you NEED Help...there is no shame in that...we all make mistakes or get stuck in a jam.  Most people are not mind readers and people with problems are pretty good at acting like everything is ok...they need to see that there is no shame in asking for help, getting better and feeling like a million bucks, so to speak...everybody has the right to feel better...

I don't know....there are so many "reasons" why people check out and there are a lot of people who have been near the edge and Chose to turn around and walk away from it and get better...or at least give life another shot, another gamble in the dark and another Roar at it all...

I seen a lot of people fall by the side of the road...and people throwing their lives away makes me cringe, when there are so many people in hospital that would give anything to live...on that perception...certain suicides are certainly selfish.

When people go out on themselves and us it ain't easy.

As Mark Lanegan wrote...they leave us here to janitor up the emptiness....

whatever you do....just make sure YOU endure

and listen more

and if you know anybody that needs help...find a suicide hotline and they can maybe help to tell you what the next best move is in helping your friend or loved one...

In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

It's better to burn out than to fade away
that's just some bullshit line from a song

it's best to be a wolf with endurance

good health and good love to you man

iAN

P.S.  ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF