Ask iAN

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Natural One / Nature boy

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You're spot ON Jonny Boy

  The Human body makes it own sweet nectar oils and we stamp it out.  When dogs attack people sometimes it's because the scent is so vulgar and fake that only something not of this planet could smell so plastic and the dog bites the head off the perfumed person.

I love it.

Not to speak of all the toxic qualities being dosed into your skin pores.

Shit man, I don't shower a lot.  I don't use shampoos on my hair i just scrub the fuck out of my scalp to refreshen the bastard.

I had an x girlfriend who always stole me this one kinda soap, it's name slips my mind but it was real and natural no lard, no perfume...no animal testing.....

I mean you can spray your ding dong down with rose spray and it will still smell like it did...only worse...now it just smells like a Rose with a yeast infection added.

I use TOMS for my underarms...but then again i keep my ass and head washed...but i don't like to wash my cock that much...and when i jerk off i don't wipe off...i keep it real cool....i keep my man dong smell about me...and it is funny to  watch the ladies gather round me at the bar...they have no clue as to why they have come to say hello or chat me up...the secret is the stinky wolf dong.

Moving right along.

Too many products yes.
Too much time in front of the mirror
too much time trying to smell handsome for strangers that flat out blow

keep it natural
i like the ladies that use the crystal underarm deodorant for their hairy armpits....LOVE girls with hairy arm pits...I bet even Ophelia had bearded armpits...what a lady....Oooph.

However sometimes heavy soap is needed....one word

Lumberjacks.

I also imagine your bull dog is a good judge of character, but at the same time how am i to trust a young man like him, who licks his own balls and asshole and then wants to give out free kisses like he was at the county fair with his own fancy little kissing booth?

I must say i like him for his boldness though.

I also don't like to wash my clothes alot...and people that do....often complain about skin rashes and irritations....well gee...that's kinda what you get when you go rubbing chemicals up and down into your skin.

I am a vegitarian rock and roll cowboy caveman....

I like my boots dirty
I like my women dirty
I like my funk
I like the dirty girl funk
I like Kurdt Cobain greasy hair minus the blood of course...
I like the scent of an undisturbed, un perfumed vagina
I like the scent of cats in the summer house
I like the smell of dog saliva on a human skin wound
I like mold, old books, dust, cobwebs and the odor of a freaked out Wine

I like rotting old guitars
old apples in my desk drawer
musty old bastard bars
the scent of cum stained pillows
however i do not like stinky socks sir!

It's called Natural for a reason...cause it's fucking natural.  Like Nature....

I remember out in California, driving at dusk past recently rained on black mountains...and the soil was so damp and rich with mist and the smell was so rich...unlike the toxic smell of sugar....it was the deep rich almost coffeesque odor of pure and good soil....it was so sweet it made me cry.  i swear to God or the devil or the black cat on the path...whatever....but it was so true and real and natural....the sweet smell of Mother Earth...it was heavy.  I loved it, wanted to live there, but i had no horse and no fucking tent or cash.  I will always remember that.

Less is more, babies!  Take it from Jonny Boy and his bulldog.

Last but not least...like when men wash their hands after they hold their dick in the restroom...i don't have to wash my hands unless i pissed on 'em somehow...and i always thought...what in the fuck are these men doing with their dicks that is so filthy fuckin' dirty that they have to wash their own hands after holding their own johnson???  If it's that dirty...wrap the fucker in swaddling for crying out loud.

Stay Natural folks,

Good love to you Jonny Boy
from your Natural One

iAN

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