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ASK iAN * KILL THEM*

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Despair often leads to bad aim.
The gravity of the situation...Dead Mother and room mate all at once
can make a person feel upside down.
Since this person can no longer ask their Mother questions like
Why?  or ask her
things that they always meant to ask, but never did and now it's so late that it'll be
Never. 
So yer dealing with a person who has a lot of unanswered questions...a person with no place to lay their
grief, their broken dreams, their crashed world, the end of the biggest era of one's life...family.
Everybody has their own way of dealing with this...and modern day society isn't one to look fondly on really savage, guttural, and often times
animalistic ways of grieving...such as primal scream (not the band) and raging, pulling out hair, or wailing and whipping for days...some cultures you grieved for a year...wore black everyday...we get two weeks off to get our horses in a row and expected to come back to work right as rain ready to compute a fuckload of insurance claims for dim wits....

You have found yourself in a right fucked position once again...but we all do...much of Life is made up of just that....the god damned folly of being.

Many times when certain people have been fucked over which is the feeling we often get when a loved one dies, we tend to expect a place to lay our burdens down, to dump our anger, to rid ourselves of this poison festering inside of us...this hate for death, even God, the devil, cancer, the economy, the lack of empathy, etc....and when some people can find no place to dump this weight of falling into the abyss, this sickness that feels as though it is killing them from the inside out...they often tend to dump it on the nearest person in sight...and it's

HELLO NEW ROOM MATE!

Just be glad they don't own a 12 gauge shotgun...things could have gotten more silly.

So during this time of harsh aim at your character, try to remember what it was like losing a friend, a loved one or a pet...and see them as you...when you were hurt...and what you gotta do...is find the patience
and the
strength
and the beauty inside yerself....to go the extra miles...in other words...
KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS.

Sometimes it's just learning how to lie on cue....they say that you are a slob even though your room is clean as a whistle....don't use logic...just tell them that they are right and you're sorry and you will do better in the future to make it cleaner and more tidy....I mean...really...it's a fucking game you have to play...if you don't love them and can find another place to go, then steal away into the fuckun night when they are gone and pray you never see 'em again...but if it is a true friend, that you care about...then take the bad aim shots as best as you can...it isn't right of them to do this...but death can create a non logical approach to things...inside of logical people....

You dress stupid!
You're right...I'm sorry, maybe you could help me pick out some clothes this weekend ?

You always leave the kitchen a mess!
I'm sorry, i'll do better i promise.

Whatever their insane charge, allegation, cheap shot, sucker punch, dog shit blame is...Buddha, find yer fuckun' Buddha in ya....gleam over it, don't take it personal, pretend yer in a silly movie...and remember that they are not themselves, that they are like this because Death came into their life and fuckun' snatched a piece of their heart and soul out, roots and all, pissed in their face and sauntered outta town like a dandy with a rose smelling arsehole*

KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS
Don't do their laundry unless they ask...don't make changes unless they ask...because even if you do something that made something better?
They will sure as fuck find fault in it and rank you out to no end...

Just tell them you will try harder, you will try to get better, and that you are sorry that you didn't get it right their way....it's a bit of a superiority complex thing as well perhaps....who knows...and after a month or so, if it doesn't get better, you playing the minor role as they slander, and chop their way through your character, good will and understanding...

Find a new place to live and write them a letter from your new address and inform them that they were fucking way out of fucking line and you wish them well....on the other hand, if you've no place to go and you pay your share of the bills...and this goes on for far too long...then you gotta get Stern.

Tell them you wanna have a talk (which is not always a good idea, i forewarn you, so it depends on how bad you need to stay and how much you can take, and when you will be able to move away...etc...)  Then tell them that you know they are hurt beyond belief...but that YOU TOO ALSO HAVE FEELINGS ARE WERE NOT MADE TO BE RIDICULED, MOCKED, PISSED ON AND MENTALLY WOUNDED EVERYDAY from them...and that you are sorry for their loss, but that they don't have a right to take it out on you and gut you and drag your soul through the fuckun' muck...we all get hurt and we all die...and as a friend, you make me feel like scum...when i am trying to love you and be your god damned friend.....

If all that shit doesn't work...turn the lights out...wait for them to come at night...have your shit already moved into your new flat and a car...with a driver out front...or a taxi....and when they come in....HIT THEM HARD in the face with a 30 pound rubber dick from the sex shoppe.
Knock em on their ass and hit them twice in the belly and once in the back and make sure you wear rubber gloves so as not to leave finger prints...then drop the huge dong on them and make your escape....they will not call the cops....because nobody wants to admit that they got their asses handed to them by getting a beat down from a huge rubber cock.

Then call the friendship severed....and fuck 'em.

The death of a loved one is not an excuse to step on another loved one....and the bad news of this or that is not an excuse to take it out on those that are truly concerned for your well being and only want to make you happy and help you in whatever big or small way they can.....

So once again...try to entertain their fancy...humble yourself...go out of your way and keep everything clean and what have you and try to stay out of their way unless they request your help to handle something...don't go out of your way and do what they didn't ask...it irritates them...don't ask why...people are fuckin' strange man....but put up with as much of their insults and belittling (sp) until it becomes obvious that they are getting a sorta sadistic thrill outta it...or it's turned from mourning and misdirected animosity into a Power Trip....give them fair warning that you are keen to their game and yer not diggin' it and ya won't stand for much more of their self centered drama before you take steps to correct the situation at the compromise of your friendship and the introduction of their ego taking a good and severe ass fucking.

Most people though, you can cool down with a few apologies given that you don't even owe them...but you do it...to keep the situation calm and help them feel calm.  It's not lying...when you speak words you don't really mean when trying to calm a fucker....so you weren't in the wrong and there is nothing wrong with your look, clothes, etc....again...it's just bad aim when there is nowhere to drop off that darkness and you are the closest person around....it's ugly but it's real.....like bill hicks said...misdirected animosity....but you can get past that with kindness and humbleness and apologies just so long as they don't go past a normal period of time...that you should suffer this....

You just have to be the bigger person without an ego for a spell...and do a little extra, be a little humble...and take a few insults you know to not be true as well....they ain't in their right mind....but if it goes on for over a month and after the corpse is in the ground per say....then yer just dealing with a jealous, and power tripping sadist who has a boner to own you...and ya gotta split that scene...dead mom and all....

I ain't never been through no misdirected animosity from out of the loss of a dead person...but i have in so many other situations...
Dad comes home from work and gets a little drunk...and takes out a little on you what he wished he would have said to his boss, etc
Friend loses a girlfriend and you try to help and then he thinks you wanna fuck her sorta stuff.....

It's all a bunch of hub bub....so kill 'em with kindness or bruise they ego with a bird egg sized lump to the forehead via a large rubber dick and high tail it from their sorry ass unkempt premises and let them swim in their broken black hole in the floor boat until they come to their senses....

I wish you luck...the good kind.
Sorry to hear about your friend's MOM...SHE is the one that truly LOST....you two are still Alive with the world waiting to give you more breath, more charm, more clarity, more good times, more kisses, more warm hugs, more rockand roll, more rockand roll, more good love, good health and rockand fucking Roll*

It ain't easy dealing with a good friend who isn't handling death well at all...you can only take degradation so long until you snap...so if you can't defuse the situation with a short term spell of kindness, it's best to be on your way...tell them you need a few days or a week to gather your belongings and move out...do it politely...and sometimes this knocks them back into common sense...and they don't want to be alone...and there is a chance they will start it all over again...if you agree to stay....sometimes, they get better...sometimes they tell you to fuck off and you can't win with them either way....play it by ear....and do your best to not kill them in their time of being lost without answers...then again..we are all lost without answers...we are all heading into the same mouth of no return...and friends in dark times and in light times...should not take one another for granted.* “Yet each man kills the thing he loves, By each let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word. The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword!” -Oscar Wilde* Friendships/Lovers - Are all relationships that lead to potential heartbreak or glory* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIXLHtg2Btk

iAN