Ask iAN

Online Spiritual Tech Support

The subject matter is not suitable for some children, nor is it intended for adults ages 18 and over.
While visiting 'Ask Ian' we ask participants to please refrain from using discretion, as it will only make matters worse.

ASK iAN * Leaving Home with the Vagabond Nomadique madmax blues

Photobucket Should you return home victorious or never return home again doesn't matter...mind your innermost harmolodics and you should be doin' just fine.... .*

It's most difficult to fly like a fucking Eagle when you're surrounded by Turkeys...that's an old saying but it still ring a dings true.

Born into a family that you can fathom or stomach is just shit luck of the draw...nobody "chooses" family or skin colour or place of birth, so it isn't your fault that you can't hang.  Some people are born to some ghastly motherfuckers and another misconception concerning that is that YOU yourself are somehow destined to be one of them dim-witted dip shits due to blood...kind of like because Kurdt Cobain had two uncles that used shotguns to kill themselves that it must run in the family...oh yeah?  Really?

Well i had two uncles that were both dudes who wore black leather and tore up the pussy to Jerry Lee Lewis and sold drugs from time to time and i....well...

let's...let's just move a long from there shall we...?

No but really.  There have been people in my family so cool and bold that i could never be that...and there have also been people in my family so low that people got killed around them on drug deals gone bad...which makes me...and leaves me...an individual regardless of bloodlines....like you.

Sometimes family just doesn't speak your language...they don't see the same ways in which you do...and some families really like to try and snuff out what makes you, you.  They don't request that you participate in their highly strange fantasy of family, they demand it...and that's bullshit...you are the pirate and captain of your own ship and it's destiny, hell or high water.

Sometimes it's too suffocating...even brad pitt's character in legends of the fall had to escape from time to time to hold his own soul together...good family or bad family...it all hurts...just in different ways...the pain is unavoidable...we are not birds.

There are all sorts of ways to say goodbye...and somebody once said that all farewells should be sudden...perhaps it was the verve or some poet before their time...regardless...it sounds fitting.

Some folks just can't adjust to the nested life...some folks run on their own gravity and gasoline...some families are like blankets you can't breathe out from underneath...and sometimes you gotta play the bad guy to keep your mental health...

If you must roam...and your grand parents...should they care about you and are not completely crazy...i would say that it is always good to drop them a post card from time to shining time to let them know, you care for them...you just can't be around...you've got places inside and outside of you that you need to discover and ponder...and that is natural.

Family should love you when you are close or when you are abroad...they should never try to marry you into them...or sew...you into them...own or control you into them and their ways and sometimes, bovine, religious, unbending belief systems....

Elvis was very close to his Mama...and when she died...it hung on him like a thousand chains....and he worried about her fiercely while she was alive as well....
Hank Williams Sr. on the other hand couldn't get enough distance from his Ma...he loved her, but she needed to be a little too involved in all the action from time to time...and he more than most...needed to fuckun' roam....

yer fucked if yer do and yer fucked if yer don't...but alas there are no mistakes in this life....there are only lessons learned and burned....

You gotta find out for yourself what's on the other side of that mountain and you can't get that done by tending the farm of your father's failing dream....or your Mother's wish for you to take over as head dishworsher when she crumbles away off this mortal coil...you have your own dreams to follow...and they are yours as this life is yours to lead...some parents try to live vicariously through their children which is twisted and some folks try to write their children's life story which is just as twisted...smart parents lend small advice...healthy and to the point advice and let their children discover...get burned by the frying pan once....take a fall, get tackled, frightened, bruised, etc....so that it builds a knowledge and a tougher silver skin...like armor....of course to protect the beautiful raging heart so red and full of love inside....

Just because you say goodbye and find your own path doesn't mean you don't care for them and love them...but to remain a prisoner and act in the movie of their dream life is horse shit and shouldn't be tolerated...

Jeff Buckley sang "feel no shame for what you are" meaning who you are....the things you wanna do, the things you wanna see, the people you wanna meet, the adventure of life, the love and the danger...hell...that's life in a nutshell....

Some love draws you near, some love drives you into the mountains....you only have this ONE life...it's not pacman with an endless supply of quarters for eternity...damn it.

Are you supposed to tend to all the shit that they've built?  Are you to be the new proprietor of the store that people hate to shop at?  Are you supposed to fetch the broth and shake some ass?  Fuck that mess....

The highway calls...the sea is calling your name....the city is ready to play hide and go seek with your body or give you money or put your name in lights...or maybe on the cover of a book...

Anybody can stay at home and stare at the family dog and at grandpa's frozen face for infinity....not everyone can listen to the song of their own heart...and when your family want to throw dirt upon that song...upon that heart....you gotta split.....

if ya feel bad...send money to home from time to time...just a little....along with a little note to let 'em know yer doing good....and you will be....

just don't take no rides from no fuckun' burned out freaks....in other words...mind yourself and your body....and don't get involved with strangers trying to make a fast buck....

Mind yerself....off the radar, off the grid....and find what it is that you are longing for...even though you may not now know what it looks, sounds or feels like...you'll know it when you find it.....

Your family members had their lives and lived them before you came along...and if they got talked into doing something that wasted their life...that's not your problem or your fault....and it's not your responsibility to carry the torch on a bad idea because they are sadist that wanna pass the quicksand lotto onto you....get out while you can....and don't look back....

just write home from time to time....crying also relieves some of the combustion....I've been known to abuse weeping like it was a drug...but it feels like an inner bath...and i'm clean for a little while longer....some people set the low standard goals too high....or too low....and at the end of the day and night you gotta go where you can breathe and if that is far from them....it's sad...but you gotta go.....you gotta find your way home....your real home....you're in good company too...yer with yourself...and you are.... .* beautiful.

bless yer heart.

iAN
Photobucket

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7BHQ0jnnrk