Ask iAN

Online Spiritual Tech Support

The subject matter is not suitable for some children, nor is it intended for adults ages 18 and over.
While visiting 'Ask Ian' we ask participants to please refrain from using discretion, as it will only make matters worse.

Ask iAN * Moe no wants to know…. .*

Photobucket 

Get yerself a pair of black surgical gloves and once the subject is under sedation apply/insert the enema and quickly proceed to administer the arsenic*  Wait.  What was the question?  Oh!  Sorry...I got your question confused with another subject matter than has been heavy on my mind as of late...scratch that.

Get yourself a pair of black "Leather" gloves and a white bronco...and...shit, that won't work, it's already been done...

I think what you do is
both.  Do them both in the the same succession as in your question. 
When it comes to matters of the heart, i never like to truly give up on the person too easily...sometimes they are simply
too confused at the time and make a bad decision...one that they regret soon after and sometimes will wish they hadn't sent you on your way...and if yer still there waiting...sometimes things can get repaired....but that decision they make might make you throw up.  If you really love a person you forgive their faults and a few bad calls
if they just do it for the fun of walking all over you...you gotta walk away.

I have stuck it out a quite a few times...i didn't give up.  Sometimes it prolonged the engagement, sometimes it opened my eyes to how really worthless and hopeless the situation was and sometimes even though i lost that person, i found a better one on the way to winning the one i lost back. 
Once
when i was much younger i was in love with an amazon who broke it off and left me in Kansas and went back to her hometown outside of San Francisco.  Then the drama began.  Now it was me and her x trying to win her heart back and poor her...she felt confoos'd.  I wasted no time and drove down in one of the oldest station wagons you ever had seen...and like her love, the car's brakes liked to come and go too.
It broke down 3 times on the way there and once while exiting an off ramp heading towards a t-bone section, the brakes disappeared entirely.  At the bottom of the ramp the light was red and cars were going left and right at the bottom and i was heading straight for them.
I open up the door and jumped out and began to run along side the car
waving my arms in the air and screaming like a pimp with his cock on fire!
The light turned Green.
The traffic stopped.
I ran through the light next to the driverless car.
People's eyes trying to register just what in the fuck they were witnessing.
Up and over the curb, both me and the car still zooming.
Into a chainlink fence and then through the chain link fence
coming to rest in a field full of flowers flying up and onto the hood of my car and into my long hair...leaving me and the car both, looking like
flower children.
The light changed and every driver rubbernecked and looked at me like i was an escaped convict and got the fuck outta there.
When i got to SF, she wouldn't see me and I stayed in the most delapitated and vile motel money could buy.  I checked in, went to my room and put my bags on the bed and left the room to find a phone...as i was going down the stairs, two paramedics followed behind me with a body in a black bag on a gurney.  The entire motel began to stink of death.  The man had been a resident there and after a long night of whiskey and heroin and whores had bit the dust.  The old croaker at the front desk with a nose like a broken eagle's beak told me...never mix the horse with the whisker*
I rang her
she wouldn't see me
This went on for 7 days and i could take no more, i phoned a friend in Hollywood and she said i could come down and stay a spell.
I gave the car to two homeless vietnam vets and took a greyhound out of there.  Once in Hollywood, my San Franciscan girl got wind of this and began to write me letters saying she didn't want it over and then two days later she would write and tell me to fuck off...this went back and forth until i didn't know my head from a bowling ball or my arse from a shark fin....and it was only a matter of time, until my heart was swept away by the girl in Hollywood.  We stayed together for 7 years.

It ain't easy trying to win back someone's heart or try to figure out why their head is so fuckin' two minded (which takes it toll on yer head as well).
At least i gave it a shot.  Both for them and for myself...for us.

Today it's much different.  If i fall for a person and they change their mind.  So long sister...it was a nice run.  I can't be bothered by the drama.  You don't dig me?  Then take off buddy, i'm like...all broken up with a special effects plastic tear glued under my eye. 
It ain't easy to walk away sometimes, especially when you are getting mixed signals...so if you can read people somewhat...you should know how long to wait for them or
how much longer you should still write love letters and send roses
and when to let them go away like long gone ghost.

One thing that I truly hate though is when a man in a relationship, no matter how long it lasted or how short it lasted...won't let go.
Lots of times this leads to the man killing both the woman and himself and sometimes just himself.  This sort of action my friend, is Fucked.
Just because you share a relationship...married, dating, etc...you never...i repeat you NEVER OWN that person.
That person is NOT your property and if you Love them, then that means they ALWAYS have the option to leave.  Even if they DO IT in bad taste or on bad terms, it doesn't matter.  If they cheat on you, then you can forgive them or work it out maybe, but if they are cheating on you because they no longer care for you or your company and feelings....walk the fuck away and let the nasty little monsters rut.
It does YOU no good to try to fix what is eternally broken and why would you want to be with a person like that for another minute of your life?
I say that if they want to be with
that?
They can have it and hearing about the folly and demise of these two cheapsters through the grapevine is priceless....
So i say
stick it out for a Spell
if you think your love is confused and needs a bit of time to suss things out, give them some space and time (which are the same)
and if your heart of hearts tells you that this thing is headed for the lagoon?
bow out with some style and let them get on with their lives and you get onto your road...

Listen.  If you don't want me, i know somebody who does, and if i don't know them now?
I'll meet them in the near future.
Love yerself first and then love others.  Love them enough to let them go...if they walk away kindly or if they leave a dirty slag....let them go and find somebody Better.

I have.

I wish you well with this...love is a trying thing...and sometimes a dangerous thing...and like forest fires only you can prevent them from getting out of hand and burning everything down.
Work it out or walk away.  If you can walk away as friends...that's the best.  If ya cain't?  Fuck 'em and fly straight as an arrow...straight into the heart of the new love that has been searching for you all along.

Cheers

iAN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hirnAyaHk5Q