Ask iAN * Robert Levon Been writes Home from the Kingdom of Cambodia
I got a serious case of cambodian fever, been riding with the devil, an eye for eye till the day I die. I'm starting to come through it now though he ain't far behind. There might even be salvation for one of us at the end of the line.
I've spent a long time in the cambodian jungle, i needed a real change, couldn't keep walking behind myself any longer, thinking the same second hand thoughts, dreams stuck on repeat. This journey has changed me in heart and in mind, a part of me is still lost out there, but there's another that will soon collide.
I wrote a lot out there, it was the last place I'd expect to find some peace, but it's probably the first place I should've looked.
Strange visions of utopian madness, a fools stage split in two... Cold silver in one hand, while the guns still warm in the other... The country is divided, sleepwalking between a nightmarish past, and the dream of a better future.
I've questioned you lord more than i've questioned myself, warm blood spit back into your cup, you emptied me out, bled all truth from doubt.
"I never want to forget. and then i realized... like i was shot... like i was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead" - Kurtz.
This land is sacred , not because it is some hidden paradise, or because it is uncorrupted or untouched, but because it trembles with life, it trembles right below our feet.
It's funny sitting back to watch the master play and never hearing a single note, but you know its all music.
I know there is an age to my heart, i don't like to admit it but it's slowly dying just like everything else. I keep it quiet, and i keep it drunk sometimes, but i know it too will die someday.
I can only hope that i go first.I know it deserves better than me, and who knows maybe i'll find someone to take it for less than it's worth. But until then it serves little purpose.
Play your hand close to your chest my friend, you never know what kind game you're in until you break the rules.
I've been playing this losing hand long enough to know that i can't really cheat.
But i'd always rather play the fool.
I hope this letter finds you all well.. I'll keep you all in my prayers with love and respect