Ask iAN

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Ask iAN * Static electricity and Harmolodiques

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Compulsive liars crumble like cremated remains when they discover that they've been decieved by their own devices...
Those that sell meat are frightened by the sight of their own blood spill

Those that murder in the name of Religion cry HARK!  When those that they hold dear to their cruddy hearts are snuffed by those seeking revenge...

The modern world has grown accustomed to being decieved and decieving as well...
I am a mimic and you will get from me what you deal me
unless it's that 4000 quid
that's gonna take me a quite a spell
dear one

Hypocrisy is the type of currency with fangs that always manages
to bite you in the
asshole

Christ didn't have the stomach for it...it put him right off his wine
Oscar Wilde felt it was the same as a pugalistic jab below the belt and straight into the bollocks
It just makes Me buttfuckun' crazy and all I wanna do is ring ya neck!

Dealin' with the Devil on a daily basis
Like when some whiplashed near sighted cromag neandertol cuts you off in traffic and then tells you
to watch where YOU are going...the simple and mathless audacity

The cheaters hate two things
1.  Being cheated
2. Getting Caught Red Handed

Those that make their living by stealing absolutely hate...that's right...
being stolen from

and Me?
I'm no Saint
I do the best I can and play it loose
I do my best to give what I get
and to forgive and forget what I cannot change
but when i got somebody telling me that they don't like my smoking and drinking
as they stand in front of my face smoking and drinking...it's not only hypocritical and crass...it's an insult to my
hard earned half intelligence and as Alex from a clockwork Orange might say...shove it up yer Arse!

Some people are truly amazing
If you do them a favor then that favor goes into the zone in their mind where mental type writer typo white out is painted over that favor
and Any small favor they do you in return is held at the front of their lobes as some death defying feat that you owe them for...it's miraculous to say the least...

See not only do hermits like being alone for just the solitude...it's also to avoid people...it's not misanthropic...it's because most people are problems waiting to happen...like a bomb with a short fuse inside of a house on fire

You got your crazymakers...people who are just not happy until they make you as unhappy as they are and oddly enough...that is the only form of joy they get...avoid them at all cost...even if it's your own Mother...or Mother in Law

You got your Problematique people...people that just ain't quite feelin' Alive unless there is a problem they can solve...and it's usually in the form of a broken house appliance, a radiator, a lawn mower issue, something with the mail service, or any other such tedious time wasting activity...throwing them a crossword puzzle magazine won't cut it for them, cause that is what they do in their free time on weekends...what these people don't understand is that there will never be enough solutions in this world to satiate their sorry asses...

Then you have your "needers" they are in constant need of something...a shoehorn, a cold drink with ice, lip balm, a bandaide, they need a new black pocket comb, a haircut on top of a haircut, a sprig of parsley, a toothpick during a funeral, a sweater for their puppy, a sewing needle to mend their wristwatch, some hairspray to cover an itch, a get well soon card to send to themselves to make them feel better for locking their car keys inside their own car and a manicure at 4 in the morning cause their toes look funny and weird...fuck 'em.

Plain and simple
it's a mad world full of bobbing, humping, exploding, sluggish, down right cruel, maximizing, money thirsty, ball waggin', ball gagin', arse shakin' tit frumpin', chicken neck burpin', asshole poppin', skin poppin', psycho droolin', pantshitting, caterwauling, shit stompin', crybaby moanin', dry humpin', drug sufferin', loose ended, on the verge, sucker punchin', dope dealin', cock chuggin', two faced honest, crab infested, molested, back slidin', thankless, two bit , swirled and tossed out
bastards
goofnuts
freakballs
nutjobs
loosenuts
bible thumpers
pickpockets
bookies
rat finks
cold dilds
murderous jack offs
hackers, slackers, jaw draggers
fang sinkers
and jet ragged stankers....

and then...

There is YOU

who makes me feel
soft
kind
giving
loved
weightless
spellbound
like I'm floating in space
like I am ageless
like time stands still in a pond of cool memories
like wings in a birdbath coming out fresh
like the foot of God standing on the crushed problems of History
like myself
like a kid
like a dog by a fireplace
an equal...and yes again...
like myself.

Thank You

 



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