It was wildly Rumored before the show that Warlock Jc Rees had been apprehended in Fort Lauderdale and booked on charges of Auto-theft, Property Damage and reckless driving when he had booked the wrong flight, only to arrive in Florida to suffer a panic attack which led him to steal a taco-truck and drive it through the store front window of an elderly palm reader, but that story was bullshit. Other rumors had him catching the wrong plane and landing in a Turkish prison for selling bootleg copies of Darwin’s book on Evolution, On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, but this was a falsehood as well, then there was another rumor about how he had flown to Iran to join the White Stripes on tour and that rumor smelled very German to me, so I called bullshit right away. Jc Rees was not at the Berlin show, I fear he may have missed his plane, flown ahead to London where he is drinking iced tea and probably smooching the boobs of a Warlock lover.
The Warlocks were stripped down to a Four Piece Mystic Machine. Many of you already know that
The Warlocks have gone through so many line-up changes that they make the Brian Jonestown Massacre look downright secure as ZZ Top. I think when the Warlocks first started out they were a 17 piece. It was Bobby on Vocals and Guitar and some x-girlfriend of his on kazoo and like 9 guitar players, 1 bass player and 5 drummers! They were far-fucking-out! Then Bobby fired like 4 people because they had all died in the desert, loaded up on acid and trying to parachute off the side of some mountain with 3 picnic blankets, 9 hand grenades and rip-cords that were made from 4 pairs of knee-high brown suede Davy Crocket hippy boot shoe strings. After that, more players came and went and then there was no more
Sandy Sugarblade on thumb-cymbals, no more Danny Cloverdoof on bagpipe and there was that Real bad Stoner named Guppy, nobody even knew what he played and I don’t think he ever even knew he was in the band or even Los Angeles, as a matter of fact. Then there was Nebula Monosthesia better known as HAWKWIND TITS, from Bulgaria who had a chestful of Texas Watermelons and thought she was Stacia Blake from the band Hawkwind, hence the nickname she gave herself, she played nothing, just rolled around on the ground unplugging everything, crushing tambourines only to jump up and twirl mid-air smashing to shit, every sitar within a 3 foot radius of herself, she’s gone now… Lots of the old players, too many too mention really.. Pringle-Can Pete on Pringle-can bongos, Larry “Harmonica Cock” Sandoval, Neon Mike who was in a wheel-chair sled made from old Coca-Cola crates and grocery cart wheels, who played the bass with his chin, and Darcy Hoofscooter, The Jenkins Twins on noisy hoolahoop and hell I can’t even remember the others… so yeah, it was a BIG shock to see The Warlocks 4. but the Machine was smooth as a favorite Dream, I tell ya…
I’ve been dealing with some stuff for about 6 months, so I haven’t been getting out that much and the weather was a little sticky so i was a bit cranko. Took a taxi from Soviet East Berlin to NickCave City… People round these parts when they are not smashing in windows or spray painting Anti-Government slogans, call it Kreuzberg… i call Kruiseberg, NickCave City or DieKruisingberg, who gives a shit, the gig was in Krewsberg ok? I was a little anxious upon arrival because first of all, my taxi driver was a blind man. I don’t mean that he couldn’t drive well, i mean he uses a white and red cane when he walks and when you get into the back of the cab, he puts the metal to the petal and says tell me when to turn, which way and when to stop and go, cause i can’t see anything. In the rearview mirror I caught a glimpse of his eyes that were behind his Ray Charles Ban black glasses and his eyes were dead light blue and mostly made of milk and egg yolk, right eye looking out the left side driver window, right eye tilting up and back into his skull like a Casino machine, goddamn man! I sure do go through a lot of Hell tryin’ to see The Warlocks.
Once The Warlocks took the stage it just got good. Hell, i felt like I was back home in Hollywood, waiting for a cool strawberry alcoholic drank, one bitter sip of my German beer called Butts’schtank, i knew i wasn’t in Hollywood, but it didn’t matter as the music swirled and drifted me onwards into raspberry room clouds and scribbled on High-School History books, Pale cool Moons, sketches of greek cupids snorting pony dust and Heaven water and it was cauldrons of Teenage doo-wop lust, guitars crying in High School Outer-Space, dark valentines and cheap waves, 1966 Motel AC and Galaxie Anti-freeze and bumble bee purple sex sweaters… and then the lights came on and i was happily disoriented and felt pretty glitter clean… then it was a Taxi race with seeing drivers and sweet boy Bobby won the race… 8 mm bar for some dranx and simple dark small talk… then fade into the Berlin night where everything is still going strong at 3:33 in the industrial morning… Thank You so Very Kindly for your Electricity, Generosity, Time and Hospitality, Earl V, DiPino, Plucky and of course Sweet Boy Bobby… Bless Yer Hearts and Keep On Keeping On and i pray i’ll see you all again somewhere down near that bend in the Twilight…
Cheers to Brandon Robert of Night Nail.
Thank You DiPino for putting me on teh List, but Yer Know I wanna help the Warlock Machine to keep On purring… Cheers brother
for my Dear Brother Earl V.