Ask iAN

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DEAR iAN * FUCK ABBY, LET’S RUN AWAY WITH OUR BUBBLEGUM LIFE AND DEATH SHOTGUNS

Aphotic brother iAN, Hope all is well and crystal with you. Haven't got the chance to write you due to thee absence of a fucking computer! I'm on one now and should start off by saying 'Thank You'. Thank you for being such a beautiful spiritual soul. You've taught me much in the short while that we've known eachother, and I'm grateful as fuck for all that you do and all that you are. Even the times that you had to slap me around a bit, not to cause pain but to wake me up, to turn my attention level on. I took em kindly. perhaps people oughtta get slapped around more, it helps get the stick out of Zee Ass! Anyway; From the 333's at thee airport, and the taxis, and on all the damn houses, to the stealing of the candy because the 7eleven bastard wouldn't let you use the fuckin restroom. But lets me use it cause i didn't have a shade missing from my eyes. Whatta dick. Goes to show the judgmental mind of folks, little did he know he rejected a golden one. What really had me in 'aw', was when you grabbed me and said hold the fuck still and observe your surroundings. Real deep state i was in, as we blocked traffic and pedestrians and could give two fucks about em. Just standing there observing the Scum and Filth of LA. Bums fighting for a sandwich in front of Prada and Gucci who wouldn't give them a rock. But I also saw the Life in that moment, Birds Flying, Trees Dancing, and The Wind blowing us a soft warm kiss that rubs through the skin. There was many golden moments we shared but there's One that I'm real thankful for. When we were saying our goodbyes and heading off, when you took your 18 pack from my car, and I didn't want you to but you insisted. Seeing you walk away as I drove off at 3;30 in the morning I get pulled over by a cop. I was shitting my pants as he walked up and says "Yur Car Reeks Of Fuckin Beer Kid" I said officer, "I just dropped off an iAN" And he doesn't believe in water. He didnt laugh but instead asked me to step out of the car. I obliged, and he searched my car. When he said what's this. I step over to him and see the passenger seat is Flooded with Warm Dirty Beer!!!! I knew I was goin in for sure. In my head I whispered, That god damned fucking iAN; I tried to explain but he says there's no such soul that showers in beer and makes puddles of booze for fun. He's never encountered a broken golden soul like you brother. He makes me undergo his stupid test and I pass with dark colors. Makes me clean up my car and says try not to spill next time. I knew if you would've left the pack of beer like I asked. I would've been in jail and my car would've been impounded. Thank you. Brother.... You drank Over 100 beers that day but still had the spiritual mindset that just won't leave you. You still knew not to let me drive off with a pack of beer in the dark pissy streets of LA. Bless your heart brother. And so i say happiness* -Ruben                           Vangare   MRRI
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