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Ask iAN

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God Bless this Mess



The Best thing about the United States

One of  the worst things about it is that education wise, we are sucking hind tit, we are the gimp at the bottom of the totem pole, dumber than a cat raised inside of a car engine.  If it ain't a movie or a game or a TV show or a snack, then we probably don't know anything about it.  Not all of Us, but loads and loads and loads of us.
Most of us don't know that our supream court now allows Corporations to vote as an individual.
Most of us don't know what Fascism is.
Hey that's alright though...did you know that the fast and the furious part 9 is coming out on blue ray?  No?
Me neither.

One of the best things that we take for granted is that it is a blessing not to be air raided and bombed everyday like we are so fond of doing in Pakistan.  It makes it a hell of a lot easier to get shopping done at the Mall. 

When we weren't fighting "OURSELVES" in the Civil War - makes me chuckle everytime
we had a problem with something or somebody else
fucking women wanting to vote or ride bicycles
black men wanting to have...rights and be treated like...ah....Men!
and the goddamned Heathen dirt worshippers, them fuckun' savage indians...always wanting their own land that we need to own to build railroads on.  Who will build the railroads?  Them celestials from the orient.

Bring in the Military industrial complex and the fed and wall street and you got an orgy.

We've been attacking fuckers since we got here.

We also like to be governened by twats and we have the highest rate of obesity since the fat albert saturday morning cartoon.

We got too many churches, too many bad drugs, too many guns...that is our other orgy.

We also have some truly ravenous things about us.
Johnny Cash was born and raised here and his music speaks to us how to remain free and treat others well
Bob Dylan was shit out here in these United States
See the Country itself is beautiful...but when it is owned by bad shadows, the church, Wall St. and Walmart it gets Ugly.

What i do like about it are the dirt roads out in the country...old wooden fences and owls in the trees at dawn...I love all the different birds and California wild flowers, I like the golden moon when she is pregnant over the wheat fields at night....I like all the little towns with all their little people doing all their little things that they do....some small towns everybody is so nice it would scare the hell out of you and you'll feel like you're in an episode of the Twilight Zone.  They're just nice...that's all.

I like taking the Amtrak Southwest Chief train and driving through the country and the towns...all the junkyards and the graffiti on cargo trains passing by...and kids throwing rocks at the windows...

I like going out at night, some place your Mother's bedroom (just kidding)
no but going outside and listening to the ghost trains and the motorcycles...real late at night you will hear some nutter just buzzing, doing about 100 mph...and you know he or she is feeling mad alive past midnight on their if for only a short spell.....i love the midwest sounds of late night...

it's the guns and sirens that ruin the party though.

America is kind of like Jail
it's a great place to visit but i wouldn't wanna live there.

If i ever moved away what would appeal to me?  That question reminds me of that Johnny Cash song, a boy named Sue...hell, call me anything, Ralph, Steve, Mike, James, just not Sue!
I felt very comfortable when i visited Helsinki, Finland.   The food blew my ass out and the beer was hotter than the devil's ass cheeks, but the people were fuckun' fantastic...i must admit though that it got so cold once when i went out to Sea that i actually cried.  No really...I cried, it was that cold.  When i got back to the flat i was staying in, I defrosted my nuts in a pint of beer and it was a win/win situation.  Warm balls and a cold beer.

I also fancied Berlin...let's just say that I adore Europe...not the Governments but the people, history and places and at least in Europe unlike the can actually dress themselves in something other than a sports jersey and baggy jeans. 

I also have to say that Helsinki is the cleanest city i have ever been to other than Toronto, Canada...besides that one slob that came out of the rock and roll bathroom with a needle in his arm....fuckun' foul.

The bogs in europe are the best too...just a button and a the states we got these silver like little dong handles and it takes several flushes to get the drugs down the bog, but by then the coppers already have nabbed ya and yer tits are up for grabs.

America is's just that we have more than we needed and we have squandered most of it.  We don't give two fucks about our old people, or our youth so much and we spend as little as possible on education, we pay teachers sweet fuck all, we spend money like it's going out of style on 4 wars and our prison system is fucking ape shit insanity.

We could have been the beatles but we were the beach boys.

We do however also have cold beer...we have some pretty and smart girls and America has given us


which i am thankful for.

Come visit
i will take you out
we will flirt with women
we shall drink cold beer
we will get in a fight
be handcuffed
spend the night in jail
and the next it all over again!

God bless us All...Everybody.



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