Ask iAN

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i was Old before i was Ever Young

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This heart
caught between centuries of shame &
thousands of years of malpractice and the dampshirt coldness of blackmailers

I cross the black snake river bed, coughing up blood and trying to tilt
my head in the correct direction of the ever-changing stars and moodswings
of my lost Love

I got born
crashed onto the ground like some 1969 fallin' star
on some toe path
indian blood up to my neck
and dumb people terrorizing the country
like a wrath of locust from the bible
god awful grizzled men
i tried to jump into the path of zapped lightning
in the hopes that it would
beam me back up again
into the fold
of Christ and his Red angels
into the 3 fingered hand of God
into a song that was my own...a pre'dawn wounded womb
into that gentle cowlick of lucifer's parted black hair that i slept in
like a parking lot turned into a wheat field

Here i sit on this turquoise egyptian baby throne
catching tears in a broken glass
looking around for my wolf cub gang
to drag me from this ditch of suburban broken hearted land...
to drag me back to where the Sun sank like
water slipping off the edge of dead lips

I remember the candy gravel of western nowhere...
the way that everything that mattered got burned...
I remember that it was so dry
my shirt caught on fire by the
white sun
i remember i had it coming
just because i was born

and knew nothing.

It is easier to find water in a desert
than a wife in a field of unforgivable yellow flowers

the one i love is only loyal to the crust and stench of modern Lies
her heart belongs in a mental hospital
and I belong on the road under the stars
where dreams collide with nightmares...a short distance from the Sea
and south of heaven

I scream a white noiseless yelp
like a dog sounds
seconds before the bumper
shaves it's scalp into a collection
of berzerk puzzle pieces

judge me?
you must be kidding
wade in your rubber boots with your child waters

I eat the dark things

that animals

cough up.

I left my blood on dead stars long before
you thought about the
way mirrors work

damnation is my passport
god and the devil are my mother and father

i flank to the left
and extinguish this nazi telegram from the center of it's guts

you should have held on to me

cause now you are lost just like them...

I wanted to give you my heart in a cupcake wrapper

and you sailed it down the river

guess i'll hold the hand of the devil

and walk on

down

the

way.... .*

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