Police Officer – Describe these culprits.

Victim – They said they played in a dirty-techno-band called
The Hayesbeens.
The one guy said his name was
Heater Pays and the other guy introduced himself as
Shade Baddo.
The Heater fella looked like a garage mechanic and the other guy, I dunno… looked like he’d
stolen motorcycles a time or two.
They both wore lots of
Black and smelled like
coffee, grease, tobacco, Sudafed and
my girlfriend.

Police Officer – What happened when the deal went down?

Victim – It all happened so fast. I gave them my heart and they gave me a simple chord.

Police Officer – There’s no law against that!

Victim – I know… and it felt so goddamn good, sir!